Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize