If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
