She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
she peed on how many people?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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