Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
She needs sedatives and a leash
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
