I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
People with herpes should wear stickers.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
