It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
