I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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