id be glad to
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
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triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
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He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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