Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
