One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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