Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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