And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
She bit a glass in half.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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