Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
