Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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