im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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