Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize