Your dad touched me again.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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