I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
