Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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