Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
