Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
