we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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