is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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