He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
