yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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