Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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