does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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