it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
