honey bunches of taint.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
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dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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