He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
