The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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