i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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