How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Barsexuality is the new black.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
