I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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