i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.