dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
