Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"