Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
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how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
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He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.