porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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