Non-Jews are for practice
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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