How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
