I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Randomize
