dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
