How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I think my moral compass just broke
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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