Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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