how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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