Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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