I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
The air taste purple.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
