i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
