Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
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I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
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In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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