I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
