How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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