i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
