Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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