Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize