Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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