Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize