well I can't set my house on fire every night
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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