There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
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I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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