I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
