Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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