I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
