part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
