We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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