If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
My hand turned me down
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
