worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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