I got chris browned last night
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
just found out that she named her cat after me.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
