What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
